Raising Free Spirits—How Parents Can Nurture a Child’s Unique Spark

Hey, fellow parents and kid-lovers! Let’s talk about something real for a minute. Raising kids is wild—it’s messy, beautiful, and sometimes makes you question everything you thought you knew. I recently got my hands on a manuscript called Just Because I Am: A Celebration of Self by Jannamie Dawn, and it’s got me reflecting on what it means to raise a child who’s free to be themselves. Dedicated to the author’s daughters, Eboni-James and Sophia Lynn, this little gem of a book is all about celebrating individuality. So, how do we, as grown-ups, help our kids find their spark and keep it glowing? Let’s unpack it.

The book kicks off with a kid proudly owning her identity: “Just because I am biracial, doesn’t mean I’m divided; I am a beautiful blend, where both my worlds collide.” You can feel the love pouring out of those lines, and it’s clear this comes from a mom who’s watched her daughters navigate the world in their own way. As parents, that’s our gig, right? We’re the first ones to show our kids who they are—and who they can be.

But here’s the tricky part: the world is loud. It’s full of voices telling kids what they should be. Girls should be sweet. Small kids shouldn’t take up space. Feelings should be tidy. This manuscript flips that noise on its head. “Just because I am a girl, doesn’t mean I’m shy; I like to play in the dirt, and chase the bugs that fly.” Reading that, I couldn’t help but think—how often do we accidentally nudge our kids into boxes, even with the best intentions?

I’ve been there. My little one once wanted to wear mismatched socks to school—bright orange and neon green—and I almost said, “Let’s pick something that goes together.” But then I stopped. Why? Who cares? She was beaming, ready to rock her quirky style. That’s the kind of moment this book celebrates: letting kids lead with their weird, wonderful selves. It’s not about us fixing them; it’s about us cheering them on.

One line hit me hard as a parent: “Just because I like to do things on my own, doesn’t mean I don’t need help; I can ask when I need it, and find courage even when I’m afraid.” That’s a parenting goldmine right there. We want our kids to be independent, sure, but we also want them to know it’s okay to lean on us. Striking that balance is tough. Do we step in? Do we hang back? The answer, I think, is to let them figure it out—and be there when they call.

So how do we do this in the chaos of everyday life? First, we listen. Really listen. When my kid rambles about catching bugs or twirling until she’s dizzy, I try to hear what she’s telling me about herself. She’s not just playing—she’s exploring who she is. This book nails that curiosity: “Just because I love to dance, doesn’t mean I don’t love books.” Kids are kaleidoscopes, shifting and shining in a million ways. Our job is to give them space to turn the dial.

Second, we model it. If I want my daughter to embrace her full self—messy emotions and all—she needs to see me do it too. “Just because I am loving, doesn’t mean I don’t get mad,” the book says. Yep, I’ve snapped after a long day, and I’ve cried over spilled milk (literally). Letting her see that—and see me recover—shows her it’s okay to be human. We don’t have to be perfect parents; we just have to be real ones.

Finally, we celebrate the differences. The manuscript wraps up with, “Just because I’m different, doesn’t mean I don’t belong; we all shine in our own way, like a symphony song.” That’s our cue to point out the beauty in their uniqueness. “I love how you laugh so loud it fills the room” or “You’re so cool for building that wobbly tower.” It’s not about praising the outcome—it’s about honoring the kid behind it.

Parenting isn’t about molding kids into some ideal shape; it’s about helping them uncover who they already are. Jannamie Dawn’s dedication to her daughters reminds us this starts with love—fierce, unconditional love. So let’s raise our free spirits with room to grow, stumble, and soar. Because when we do, we’re not just raising kids—we’re raising a generation that knows they belong, just because they are. What’s one way you’re letting your kid shine today? I’d love to hear it!